In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m sharing this embarrassing 3 am picture. I am TI-RED.
This morning most mornings this month, Gabs has woken up between 3 and 4:30. For the most part, it’s not a big deal because I only work a few times a month- but it feels like a big deal at 3 am! I can barely keep my eyes open and my squirmy little wormy is tired, but awake and hungry. In those moments, sometimes I get caught up in feeling bad for myself. This morning I had a case of the ‘feeling sorry for myself’ pretty bad- and as I poured my morning coffee and mashed up some bananas for little one, I glanced at the mail I had brought in yesterday but hadn’t looked at yet. On the top of the stack was a new issue of ‘Tabletalk’ by RC Sproul- I said a quick thank-you to the Lord, grabbed it, and indulged myself in some real good reading as Gabs had breakfast.
Reading from the Bible with a little guidance from RC Sproul (a theologian I love) totally shifted my mindset. I am so thankful that God can hear my mind and intercede for me on those mornings that discontent and weariness cloud all the blessings that my life is full of. After reading a few articles, I moved on to read a blog that I keep up with daily. And whaddaya know, her post this morning just took the words right out of my mouth!
I am so privileged to be able to complain. Despite the early mornings, unexplainable (occasional) tantrums, dirty bathrooms and piles of laundry- I am so blessed and happy to wake up and live my life. Despite being unsure how to balance an early career as a nurse with a beautiful daughter, I have a job I love and a daughter I adore. With the sticky floor and cemented baby food on the dishes, I am blessed in having dishes and cleaning supplies! I’m blessed to be irritated by a mess!
Yeah, I don’t always remember that first thing. But boy… God reminded me today, and I am just too blessed to be anything but overjoyed to live this life He gave me.
I get irritated, cranky, sweaty, tired, smelly, impatient, selfish, proud, and a boatload of other things- by the grace of God, sometimes He gently brings me back down to a place where I’m just simply happy. I love social media and hate it at the same time- I love posting pictures of all the things I love about Gabby, and I love seeing other people enjoy their lives too! I have many friendships that have flourished through social media- and many faces I get to see that I otherwise wouldn’t without FB or instagram.
On the other hand, I’ve read so many things about how depressed and discontent people are nowadays because all we ever see are the AWESOME and FUN parts of life from others on social media- even though subconsciously, we know nothing is perfect. Even though we know. We KNOW!
So…. let it be known. Gosh, I love blogging, but I am NOT the world’s best baker. Half of you (or more, most likely more) are way better in the kitchen than I am. Everyone has beautiful kids. Everyone has reasons to be happy and thankful. I hope that no one mistakes my love for blogging and social media for bragging or misconceptions about perfection. If you know me, you know I’m not.
I’m privileged to complain, and therefore, TOO privileged to complain. Thank you JESUS!